We are who they’ll become! Our children will evolve into who are now so we had better be our best selves. I know, not always! But alot of the times. Habits good or bad are completely contagious!
So I used to have myself glued to the television whenever the show came on for the morbidly obese people trying to lose weight. And over time I noticed one thing that kept reoccurring over and over again! A lot of times, people that were morbidly obese and lived amongst family for example if it was a mother living with her children and/or grandchildren, I started noticing that the children were quite obese as well. I know, I know, don’t castrate me now! It could be the genes. Definitely! There’s no disputing that but a lot of the times you can see that the unhealthy food cravings the person on the program had, is shared also amongst the rest of the family members. A lot of the times, the frequency and hugely unrestricted amounts of food also cut across. Now do not get me wrong. I am absolutely not picking on anyone, neither do I have anything against anyone overweight or obese, in fact am currently slightly obese as well and trying to put myself together again. But that’s a story for another day. The thing is, that from watching these kinds of programs on television, I started giving thought to how myself and the life I live as a mother affects my children and what kind of effects it could have on them in their adulthood. I know, weight can be lost and having an obese mom or dad does not mean kids will automatically turn into obese adults. Definitely not!
But hey, anyone into true crime? Well, if you’re anything like me that cannot get off Bailey Sarian or Kendall Raes YouTube pages or True crime you have probably noticed that there is always a back story about the villains in these real life horror stories and more importantly, the childhood these villains have, has way too much to do with it!
When you decide to have children, your life should be lived consciously because you become responsible for another human being’s perspective on life. Take cigarattes or even drugs for instance. In a family where an adult smokes cigarattes, chances are the children will as adults or at an even earlier age start to smoke too. I have had a friend or two that smoked and whenever the question of when do you stop arose, the answers always ranged from how their own parents smoked all through their lives with no repurcussions to how smoking was not as dangerous as is portrayed etc. Again this could be just the few people I have had this conversations with but what are the chances? The same goes for children that grow up around drug users.
Children that grow up in violent homes will most likely end up becoming abusers themselves or become victims stuck in abusive relationships. There are things you could expose your children to that they may never recover from, so living right and healthily is not just something you owe to yourself but to your little children as well.
Alot of times, children that come from highly educated homes are most likely to excel academically. Now there are lots of variables affecting academic success and of course children raised in homes where there are not very highly educated parents can and do also often excel highly academically. But academic success and the absolute desire to make it far academically is triggered by a number of things, one of which and perhaps the most powerful one is growing up in stable homes with highly educated rolemodels/parents.
Now let us talk about financial success. I know, we all are searching for the same. But how grounded you are as a person, your money making habits, work ethic could be one of the things you pass onto your children. The same goes for extravaganza, procrastination and a poor work ethic. Poor money handling skills will be passed right onto the children as well.
Nothing sticks like trauma. The trauma we are dealt by our very own parents is sadly in most cases the same trauma we end up dealing our own children. The issue is though that every individual processes pain and hurt differently so definitely we all handle our trauma in different ways.
Now I could go on and on; exercise habits, lawful or lawlessness, faithfulness or unfaithfulness, honesty or its counterpart, mischief to mention but a few.
The thing is that parenting is hard and the truth is that even as parents we are still human. We couldn’t be at our best a hundred percent of the time even if we tried. So how about not taking all the pressure at once and getting obsessed with perfection as that in itself could pose quite a number of problems.
The little things could make all the difference. Living consciously for starters as a parent could be it. If you have been an avid swearer for example, you want to try to soften your vocabulary a bit otherwise you are going to raise people that will in future swear at partners and children and think it is alright.
Of course there are sacrifices to make, there are huge changes to make before you go into parenthood for example if you are a substance user, you want to take the time to get clean before you start wrecking lives apart. But being a parent does not necessarily mean giving yourself and your pleasures completely up. You can as a parent still find time for your little guilty pleasures, I mean I think any parent has secretly chewed on that bar of chocolate while the kids are not watching or after their bedtime. Oh yes I couldn’t be the only one. Anyway, you get my point, so lets raise them right.
Another thing that makes all the difference is LOVE! Love! Dont simply feel it, show it. It should be self explanatory I know but guess what? It is not. But I’d argue that loving your children, telling them and showing them is very crucial to who they’ll become. Be sure your child knows, feels and understands they’re loved.