Different situations affect us in different ways and in the aftermath of certain situations, you could be in a real life rut!
It mostly is a mental place. But it has the capability to affect your entire life and how you function as a whole. Being in a rut can be an unproductive habit that has become hard to break.
Often times when stuck in a rut, one may feel an overwhelming sense of uselessness. Usually, it is associated with depression, sadness and misery. Days may start to feel longer and boring as there are absolutely no new challenges to look up to in the day.
Being in a rut is a mode of survival, rather than living. With major life changing events like divorce, maternity, among others may come the overwhelming sense of uselessness. In situations for instance where, one partner were so lost into their ex-partner before a divorce, it’s overwhelming to try and escape a rut. Often times in relationships and marriage, partners may tend to lose their identity. They tend to represent nothing but their significant other. In such cases, when a divorce occurs, the partner that’s been leaning in onto their s/o’s shadow may end up in a rut.
Sometimes, you can be in a rut even during your marriage. Sometimes it comes with motherhood. After birthing babies and struggling to raise them, you just may get overwhelmed ans start looking at life as empty when you realise what motherhood cost you; your precious body, your sleep, alone time etc. Or it could be an over all different reason you may end up in a rut!
Well, being in a rut is a difficult place to be! I know because I have been there. You reach a place in your life where you jus don’t feel “good enough”. It’s hitting rock bottom to be exact!
From someone that’s been there, am going to share my own sure, tried and tested ways you can get out of a rut. Try what you can and see what works for you.
1. SPEAK UP
Speak up on the things weighing down on you. You may be going through things you do not know how to talk about. You may feel oppressed in silence. Getting out of a rut begins with speaking up. Talk about it. At some point, you have got to decide that you have had enough. Speak up. Say whatever is oppressing you, don’t hold onto your pain without speaking on it. Irrespective of how difficult it may be to address some issues, you’ve got to find the courage to speak your mind.
Speak up on past wrongs, make known what you want. It’s your life to change so let your voice work for you.
2. WORK OUT
Exercise always does the trick, make a habit of it. Exercising has a way of enhancing our mood and making us feel good about ourselves. This kind of mood alleviation that you get from exercise will motivate you to do more, to do better, to get out of your comfort zone and tread on “rough waters”. The edge you get off of exercise may be just what you need to get out a rut. If it was your extra weight holding you back, exercise may just help you lose it and get yourself back.
3. FORGIVE AND LEARN
Being in a rut could be as a result of past wrongs that people you trust and love, or even strangers inflicted on you. Holding onto hate and anger will only weigh you down, make you feel not good enough, keep you in a stale trance for a while, until you gather the courage to forgive those that hurt you.
Forgiving heals you. Letting go of the pain and anger will renew you and motivate you to go after the life you deserve. But learn!
When people hurt you, forgive them but take a lesson from that.
Do not let your guard down because you may just end up in the exact same place you do not want to be if you do not protect yourself and learn from the past wrongs inflicted on you.
4. GET CLEAN AND LIVE HEALTHY
Drugs and alcohol could be the reason you are in a rut. It is absolutely on you to make that big decision to change and come clean. Seek the necessary rehabilitation to help you come clean.
Choose a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy, exercise, sleep enough. It involves hard work but you can absolutely do it if you want it bad enough.
5. ASK FOR HELP
There is no shame in needing help or even asking for it. Being stuck in a rut can be overwhelming and often times you may feel that you cannot do it on your own. Ask for help. Ask the people that care about you for help and support. You do not have to do it on your own. It’s absolutely okay to want and ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it’s strength itself for there’s absolutely no shame in being vulnerable.
6. BUY WHAT YOU LOVE
Yes, I know it sounds dumb but it’s not. It’s truth. It worked fine for me when I was stuck in a rut after having my two babies, feeling hmm… Not good enough for pretty much about anything! I made a list of the things I wanted and made it a challenge to myself to buy them, one by one. I bought myself a beautiful camera, a tablet, etc. It felt good to start ticking things one by one off my list. This motivated me to do even more, to find a beauty in life that had for a long time eluded me.
7. LEARN A NEW SKILL.
It’s your life to live. Learn something new, something fun. When you challenge yourself to learn a new skill, it’s an excitement that will give you the boost of energy to go through your days, to do even better, to break old unproductive habits and build a fresh slate.
8. BLOCK OUT THE NEGATIVITY
When you’re in a rut and you’re subsequently sorrounded by negative energy and toxic people then it becomes difficult to get out of a rut. It takes real strength and energy to get out of a rut. Those are the things that toxic people suck out of your life at all times. So you need to figure out how to block the negativity in order to thrive, heal and get out of a rut.
9. BUILD A CAREER
When you are in a rut, you may feel useless, no motivation to go through the days, or that you’re not good at anything. Deciding and focusing on working on, and building a career is redemption if you’re in a rut. Bury yourself into it, let it give your life purpose, let it drive you.
10. FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP
If you are in a romantic relationship or marriage, it may become difficult to get out of a rut until you fix what’s broken in a relationship or leave if there’s nothing left to fix. Being stuck in a broken marriage or relationship makes it even harder to get out of a rut.
11. BREAK THE CYCLE
In cases where you’re in a rut because of abuse; physical and emotional, it is absolutely crucial that you break the cycle as any sort of abuse will deter you from exploring your full capacity and in due process make it close to impossible to get out of a rut. So leave the abusive, manipulative environment, seek help in repairing any sort of damage it may have caused. Find healing, get yourself back!
12. EMBRACE YOUR BEAUTY
Everyone is a different kind of beautiful. Find your beauty and embrace it. There’s an energy associated with feeling good and beautiful. Embrace your beauty and let it drive you to working your way out of a rut. When you stop letting society dictate to you what beauty is, you subsequently stop them from telling what you can or cannot do!
If you’re a believer, pray. Each in their faith!